The Kraken a-Baked

Under our ship in the waters deep
Lies the Old Kraken in his sleep
Safe from him God us will keep
For after all a rock of crack is cheap.

From his watery grave exhumed
He surfaces wailing at the moon
Gets smacked in the head by our stout boom
We all know he’s desperate for the fumes.

Shantyman: The Kraken’s a crackhead!
All: He awakes!
Shantyman: Lights up the pipe!
All: He’s a-baked!

So all on the deck, even those with gripe
Suck on a lime, they’re nice and ripe
Get a fire going and keep it alight
And touch the flame to his mighty pipe.

Hands on deck and splice the brace
We’d better get away from this lonely place
Faster and faster, it’s a mortal race
For the Kraken is truly out of his face.

Shantyman: The Kraken’s a crackhead!
All: He awakes!
Shantyman: Lights up the pipe!
All: He’s a-baked!

Keep your eyes peeled lads for the docks
“Keep right ahead boys!” shouts the Cox
By the port there’s a sight not too be mocked:
The Kraken is washed up on the rocks.

The moral of this cautionary tale is clear:
It’s probably best to stick to the beer
But tell this to the Kraken and he will jeer
Then go out scoring down at the pier.

Shantyman: The Kraken’s a crackhead!
All: He awakes!
Shantyman: Lights up the pipe!
All: He’s a-baked!

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